Importance of Self-Compassion
What Is Self-Compassion and Why Does It Matter?
Think back to a time when a close friend was going through a difficult period. Chances are, you spoke to them with kindness, reminded them of their strengths, and reassured them that things would get better. Now think about how you speak to yourself when you are struggling. Many of us use much harsher words, sometimes without even realising it. This is where self-compassion comes in.
It’s about treating ourselves with the same understanding, patience, and encouragement that we would offer someone we care about. Far from being “soft” or “letting ourselves off the hook,” self-compassion is a powerful tool for improving our mental health and resilience.
Describing Self-Compassion
According to Dr. Kristin Neff, a leading researcher in the field, self-compassion has three key components:
- Self-kindness: speaking to ourselves in a gentle and encouraging way rather than being harshly critical.
- Common humanity: recognising that everyone struggles at times, and that challenges and mistakes are part of the shared human experience.
- Mindfulness: noticing and accepting our emotions without ignoring them or becoming overwhelmed by them.
When we put these elements into practice, we create an internal environment that supports healing and growth rather than one that fuels shame and self-doubt.
Why Is It Important?
Research consistently shows that self-compassion is linked with:
- Reduced anxiety and depression: people who practice self-compassion experience fewer symptoms of mental distress.
- Better resilience: setbacks feel less overwhelming because you have the inner resources to bounce back.
- Improved motivation: rather than paralysing you with shame, self-compassion helps you stay engaged and work towards your goals.
- Stronger relationships: when you treat yourself kindly, you’re also more patient and understanding with others.
How to Practice Self-Compassion in Daily Life
Here are some simple yet powerful ways to start building self-compassion:
- Notice Your Inner Voice
Pay attention to the words you use when you make a mistake or face a challenge. Would you speak this way to a friend or child? If not, try rephrasing your self-talk into something more supportive. - Try a Self-Compassion Break
When you feel overwhelmed, pause and remind yourself:
“This is a moment of struggle.” (mindfulness)
“Struggle is part of being human.” (common humanity)
“May I be kind to myself right now.” (self-kindness)
This short exercise can help shift your mindset in just a few moments. - Keep a Journal
Write down situations where you were hard on yourself. Then rewrite the same event through a compassionate lens: what would a kind friend say instead? - Practice Self-Soothing Activities
Gentle exercise, mindfulness, warm baths, listening to music, or connecting with supportive people can all be ways of showing kindness to yourself. - Challenge the Myth of Self-Indulgence
Many people worry that being compassionate towards themselves will make them “lazy” or “unmotivated.” In fact, research shows the opposite. People who are kinder to themselves are more persistent and better at reaching long-term goals.
Final Thoughts
Self-compassion doesn’t mean ignoring problems or pretending everything is fine. It means facing challenges honestly, while supporting yourself in the process. Like any skill, it takes practice, but over time, it can transform the way you relate to yourself and the world around you.
If self-criticism is weighing you down, support is available. Speaking with a psychologist can help you learn practical ways to strengthen self-compassion, reduce distress, and build a more balanced relationship with yourself. Why not reach out today and take the first step toward a kinder, healthier future?
By Sara Sulibi
BPsych (Hons), AHPRA
